


Starting Over

by lenkagaminecutelove



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:40:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28861941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lenkagaminecutelove/pseuds/lenkagaminecutelove
Summary: Dean's ex Castiel and Sam get together without telling Dean, after Dean finds out they have been secretly together for almost a year he can’t take living with them anymore and leaves with no word of good bye needing to start over. Taking a mechanic job in Louisiana was only suppose to be a quick stop. Benny hires Dean and the two grow attached and Dean carves a place in Benny's heart. However, you can't always leave your past behind.EDIT: this work may be reedited in the future as I don't have anyone who reads over my work before they are posted. things may change later and chapters will be marked if edited
Relationships: Benny Lafitte/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Sam Winchester
Comments: 14
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who's back! If this is my first work to come across welcome please check out my other stuff. Please let me comments, opinions, ideas or whatever and enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if this is your first time reading this these are the songs i listened to while writing it, in case you wanna get in my mind set  
> Sam Hunt- Breaking up was easy in the 90's  
> Walker Hayes- you broke up with me  
> Laura Bell Bundy- giddy on up

Dean was again sitting alone in the living room, mindlessly watching bad drama shows on TV in the dark. His roommates, Castiel and Sam had gone out earlier in the day to help a friend and were supposed to be back for dinner. That was nearly five hours ago. Now almost reaching three in the morning Dean was a little pissed that his brother and friend and ex had ditched him for the whole day and refused to answer his calls. So now he sat on the worn out couch not pouting at all. Who needs them.

Dean had just turned off the TV and was finally ready to call it a night and give up and waiting for the two idiots when he heard heavy, stumbling steps from the front door. Dean sat in the dark as the front door opened and in came the two people he had been waiting for. Only they seemed slightly drunk, giggling messes and the two seemed to also be locked in an intense battle of tongues. Sam once he had the front door kicked shut, shoved Cas up against the wall across from it and pinned the smaller man. Hands roaming lowly on the man’s back. Cas was no by standard at the moment and was actively unbuttoning Sam’s shirt. Dean felt as if he had been stabbed in the heart and time froze for him until Sam removed a hand from Cas to search for a light. The two never wanted to risk knocking anything over and waking Dean, who they thought was fast asleep already.

The entrance light flicked on and illuminated the entrance and half the living room. When the two broke from their kiss and turned to get to the stairs they saw Dean. The back of the couch was facing the front door but Dean had sat up and turned slightly to face the source of the noise. Sam’s face paled when his eyes locked on Dean and Cas just seemed to freeze, like ice water had been dumped on him. All that desperate need to be all over one another and get to a bed as soon as possible to continue their actions had drained and died out the minute they caught Dean’s eyes.

Dean just gave a tight, bitter smile and a huff of anger before quickly breaking eye contact and leaving the room before either could say more than his name. Neither had tried to follow, both knowing through their own experiences that talking to Dean when he was mad would never end well and just make it worse. Dean locked his bedroom door and crumpled to the ground, leaning against the door. Fighting the tears that wanted to pour from his face.

God he felt so stupid. All the excuses the two had given to go off alone or not go with him on jobs now were suddenly making more sense. Dean had originally thought Cas just didn’t want to be around him as often since the break up. Castiel and Dean had been together for four years, Dean had met him on the job. Castiel was working as a bank teller, and Cas was charmed by the FBI agent who came to ask about the recent robberies. Dean wasn’t really an FBI agent, but was what they called a cleaner of sorts. Hired by criminals to go and mess up cases so the real culprit was never caught or someone else was falsely caught. Messing with information, destroying evidence or just sweeping cases under the rug. Sam and Dean didn’t love the job but they were good at it, and it paid more than well. Between the two they didn’t need to work a lot to pay for their lifestyle.

They used fake IDs, credit card fraud, breaking and entering, you name it they did it and everything had a price. It was supposed to be like any job. Mess up the case enough the robber was never caught. Dean knew he was attracted to Castiel when he took the man’s statement of the events to use later. He knew he wanted to sleep with the man after Cas had agreed to meet him for drinks the next night. What Dean hadn’t expected was to miss Cas when they left Arizona. Even more unexpected was when Dean called Cas up a few weeks later wanting to see him again, against Sam’s advice. Sam understood the need to pick strangers up in their line of work, even he did it, but they had rules. You never give out your real number, don’t keep the other person's number and they never meet up more than once. It was no surprise that after months of sneaking off from Sam to meet up with Castiel and late night phone calls that Dean had to eventually come clean with who he really was. 

What surprised Dean was that Castiel wasn’t even mad about the lies. The more Cas became a part of Dean’s life however the more Cas started getting into their jobs more. Helping where he could until he lost his job. He moved into the boy’s house taking the spare room as his official room but spending most nights in Dean’s room. That's when things had started to go wrong. Castiel was a quick learner but the more he grew to like the job the more he and Dean fought about it. Dean never wanted this life for Cas who when they met was so kind and pure. Dean felt like he had destroyed Cas. Cas on the other had felt that this life was the choice he made and he wanted it so he could be closer with the man he loved. However the more jobs they did, the more times the other came back hurt, the more they got possessive and protective of one another. Dean had left for a job right after a fight that ended badly.

Dean had made a stupid mistake and went for drinks with someone he met on the job. Nothing happened but Castiel didn’t believe that. Even though Cas said he forgave Dean, they couldn’t be together. Dean understood but it still broke his heart. The three continued living together because they were in business together and all three names were now on the lease and all the bills. Bobby would call and send them on jobs and having options to send sets of two worked well. Their break up never was a problem on the job.

Now he had the answer to questions. Who Sam would leave the room to call when on a job, who Cas was so eager to get home to. Why either were so excited when Dean accepted solo jobs. They were a fucking couple. Dean felt like such an idiot, and more so he felt like the biggest asshole to exist. There had to have been a reason they never told him. Did Bobby know? Did Crowley know? Was he the only one who didn’t see it? Dean still loved Cas and had hopped stupidly apparently for two years the two could have worked things out. He thought Cas still loved him but was just scared.  
Finally Dean couldn’t hold it anymore and pressed a hand over his mouth to keep quiet as he cried on his bedroom floor. While his baby brother did who knows what with the man he loved.

When Dean woke up the next morning he felt drained. Exhausted to the point of no return. He could hear Sam and Cas moving around downstairs, hear dishes clattering around and the fridge being opened. Dean reluctantly removed himself from his bed and threw on a pair of worn out jeans and a plain black t-shirt. Quietly he made his way down the stairs, pausing when he heard whispered voices.

“I knew we should have just told him!” Sam said, angry but careful to keep his voice low so Dean wouldn’t hear him. Too bad for Sammy, Dean was always better at sneaking around than him.

“What would we have said? ‘Hey Dean I know you and Cas used to be a thing but just so you know we’ve been screwing since your last fight!. Also we’ve been dating for a fucking year!’ Really?!” Cas said, this sounded like a repeat fight. Dean felt his throat close. Since their last fight, did Cas mean the fight they had before Dean left on a solo case only to come back to be broken up with? They had gotten together then? Dean felt like laughing.

No longer feeling the hunger that got him out of bed in the first place, Dean made his way back to his room, quietly shutting the door. He could hear harsh whispers, increasing in volume and in anger. Dean felt empty. While he never expected for the two people he cared about to hurt him this much, knowing the two were fighting about him just made it all worse. A pain flared in his chest knowing he was causing them both pain. Quietly as he could Dean pulled out his duffle bag he used for work and dumped it out. 

Dean filled the bag with clothes, not his suits for work. His favorite t-shirts, jeans and things similar. Emptied all his wallets of his cash, leaving the IDs and all cards on the bed, Dean grabbed his Dad’s old gun from his closet. Careful as he could Dean packed the gun away into the bag, put on his shoes and climbed out the second floor window with his keys in hand. They had two cars, Dean’s impala that he took obsessive care of. It had been a gift from their dad years ago, and Sam’s more modern car. Cas would usually use Sam’s car when working solo, both Cas and Sam knowing that baby didn’t go anywhere unless Dean was in it or there was an emergency. 

Now Dean climbed into the front seat throwing his bag in the back seat. Baby was not a quiet getaway car, so when he started her up he knew the noise would attract the attention of the love birds inside. The door burst out the front door just as Dean sped down the street. Dean could see Cas yelling something in his rearview mirror, but with Metallica blasting through the speakers, Dean will never know what the man said.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean when he left had no idea where he was going, or what he was going to do. He ditched his phones, knowing Sammy the first thing he would do is call him or try and find him using GPS. It’s what Dean had done when Sam ran off with Ruby years ago, getting into things he had no place being in. So Dean drove, with nearly a thousand dollars in cash sitting in the glove box he knew he could go far. So from California Dean drove with no intent in stopping. He didn’t stop until he hit Louisiana. Dean didn’t mean to stay long. Running a little lower than he liked on cash, Sam was right baby was a gas nightmare. Between her, a few hotel rooms and many dinners later Dean knew he needed a bit more for a temporary stay before he found a stopping point. Dean had been tempted to call Bobby and ask for work, just for cash but if Bobby knew where he was Sam wouldn’t be far behind.

While Dean loved his brother, he was still hurting and didn’t think he could see Sam or Cas yet without decking either of them. So pulling into a town that was almost a city, Dean found himself a cheap motel and set out to get a job at some dinner somewhere that would hire a drifter. What he found instead was an auto shop with a help wanted sign. Curiosity got the best of him and he parked baby just outside the bay doors, the noise catching the attention of the three workers just inside.

A young man with short black hair, couldn’t have been even in his twenties approaching Dean as Dean came closer to look at the place, “Need something?” 

Dean motioned with his head slightly at the help wanted sign, “looking for some work, this place still need a set of hands?” Dean asked. 

“Let me get the boss,” the kid said before skittering off into the back of the garage and going through a door. A few minutes later the kid came back out following a man. The man must have been the boss, as he got closer Dean noticed the man was taller than him, which was something no one except his dad and Sam had ever managed. The man was also built, thick with muscles, the man had a well kept beard with brown hair, and light blue eyes that were a few shades to light to remind him of Cas but just as striking. When the man spoke he had a thick southern drawl. 

“You the one looking for a job boy?” the man asked and Dean slightly nodded and put on his best smile. 

“Just looking for some work that pays well sir,” Dean answered.

“Got any experience fixing cars up?” The man looked doubtful at Dean. The man noticed Dean looked more like your regular pretty boy than one to do manual labor. The boy had short, dirty blond hair, and the most stunning green eyes he had ever seen. Skin slightly tan, maybe from spending a large amount in the sun, briefly the man wondered if the boy had any tan lines. A splash of freckles across his face, invisible from a distance but now up close they were clear as day and plush lips. 

Dean looked back at his car, “ I keep that beauty in perfect shape and runs like she’s brand new,” the man looked over at the car. Dean followed the man as he approached the impala to get a closer look of Dean’s work. The car looked damn near perfect, the paint was perfect, if it had been a repaint he couldn’t tell or if the boy just took that good care of it. A look through the windows showed a well used car, but the leather didn’t even have one crack in it. Dirty for sure, like the boy had been spending a lot of time in it, if the open duffle bag in the back with a few shirts thrown around the back was anything to go by. Looks like this boy was coming from somewhere far. The man found himself nodding approvingly at the show of work, he knew good work when he saw it and this was damn near perfection. A master of his craft.

“What’s your name boy?” the man asked looking back at the boy.

“Dean, and I'm no boy, 26” Dean said.

The man nodded, “Well Dean, I'm Benny and your new boss. You start tomorrow at six in the morning. We don’t close shop until eight and you get an hour lunch but no one leaves here with work half done. You start it, you finish it. That understood?” Benny asked.

“Understood sir,” Dean said and couldn’t help himself when he gave Benny the most charming smile he had. He was a little disappointed when Benny casually brushed him off, instead of the normal reaction he got. Benny walked away and Dean got to know the rest of his co-workers. The boy from before was named Kevin. The man who had been sitting off to the side not doing anything was Ash, the book keeper. Apparently Benny didn’t have much of a head for numbers and Ash was more than happy to keep up with the legal shit. Another man named Chuck, he wasn’t as familiar with car’s as Dean but like Kevin, he knew enough to do his job and do it well. 

After introductions and welcomes Dean grabbed dinner for the night and crashed at a motel. Eager for the first time in a long time for the next day to come.

Dean spent his days working at the auto shop, the job was only supposed to be a shortstop but as days went by Dean found it harder to leave. They didn’t know him, his family or where he came from. Dean kept it that way, keeping answers to their questions short. That didn’t keep him from getting close to them. Ash and Dean would go out for drinks every night after work, Dean would listen to Ash talk on and on about things he could never understand and offer his own thoughts when he could. Like he had with Sam when they worked together. Dean was the first person to get told when Chuck finally met a girl. Becky was a little nutty but they worked well together. Kevin was a college student who when times got tough seemed to lean on Dean for support more than his own mother or girlfriend. Dean let him, supported him, helped the kid unwind when he could and despite barely getting a GED was fairly smart and helped the kid study.

Dean was slowly carving out a spot in each of their lives. Benny was still distant but every so often there would be nights, everyone else would go home and Dean would stay behind to finish a job. Benny would sit with him, they would share a few beers and talk about nothing important, and those nights made Dean feel alive again. An easiness fell between the two. The day’s turned to weeks, which turned to months and Dean didn’t feel any closer to leaving, but he still couldn’t commit to the idea of stay and so just kept renting out the cheap, run down motel room he first crashed in. He didn’t mind as he didn’t spend much time there to begin with. The shop felt more like home than his home with Sammy ever had.

It was late, nothing new, Dean was staying late again. A real monster of a job, he had to wet sand and strip the car for a new paint job. The owner was giving the car to his kid as a birthday gift, and knew the dark green paint wouldn’t be to his daughters liking so was changing it to a bubble gum pink, so she would feel like it was more her’s and something new instead of a hand me down. Benny was once again staying with him, sitting on a spare tool box drinking a beer as Dean worked away.

“Dean, will you tell me the truth?” Benny asked, breaking the silence that had consumed them for nearly an hour. 

Dean paused in his work, looking at Benny with confusion obvious, “Of course Benny,” he answered.

“Why did you really show up here?” Benny asked. Dean had been asked this many times before, by everyone including Benny but there was something in the way Benny looked at him this time. Dean just didn’t have it in him to dance around the question anymore. With a heavy sigh Dean abandoned the car and leaned against the work bench next to Benny, facing each other.

“I just, some stuff happened and I needed to leave. So I just drove, and ended up here” Dean said, taking a sip of his own drink.

“What happened?” Benny asked.

“Doesn’t matter anymore,” Dean said looking at Benny.

“If it doesn’t matter then why did you stay?” Benny asked standing up and somehow without Dean noticing, Benny had moved to stand just inches in front of him looking down at him. Dean lifted his eyes to look up at the man.

“Not sure, I just..” Dean was at a loss for words for a moment, “there’s just nothing for me to go back to. I’m happy here,” Dean finished, lowering his voice into more of a whisper that felt more suited for the closeness. The two stared each other down for what felt like hours before Dean slowly inclined his head back, his eyes dropping to Benny’s lips, not hiding the desire he had been feeling since the moment they met and he had hinted at many times. Benny noticed and his eyes dropped to Dean’s lips. Dean isn’t sure who moved first but at some point one of them moved and then they were kissing. Slowly with a hunger, Dean felt like a man dying of thirst finally given water. A low hum resonated in his throat and when his lips parted for air Benny swallowed the sound, hands reaching for Dean’s hips, pulling him closer and tongue finding its way into Dean’s mouth. Once tongues were added to the mix and saliva traded the pace picked up some. 

Dean could feel Benny becoming hard against him. Dean’s hands found the hem of Benny’s shirt and the two parted just long enough for Dean to pull the shirt off. Benny’s hands moved to the backs of Dean’s upper thighs, the squeeze was all the warning Dean had before he was being lifted effortlessly onto the workbench at his back. Dean’s shirt was the next thing to be removed, the clothing item was covered in oil, sweat and dirt from working all day and clung to Dean’s skin. Once removed Benny gave Dean’s lips a break to attack the man’s neck, licking and sucking at the skin. 

“Tell me now if you don’t want this,” Benny whispered into Dean’s ear, voice low and hot air against his ear. Dean grabbed one of Benny’s hands and moved it to his crotch, his hard cock obvious now even with the restricting jeans.

“Does this answer your question?” Dean said voice equally low. Benny just grinned at him filthy before giving Dean’s cock a teasing squeeze and Dean moaned into the space between the two. Benny made quick work and got Dean’s pants off while sucking and biting marks into Dean’s neck, trying to cover every inch of his neck. At every bite Dean’s breath would hitch only to be followed by a groan. He wasn’t used to being not in control, usually with Cas seeing as Dean was the first man Cas had been with, Dean was the one who took the lead and initiated most contact that was innocent in nature. Now however Dean wasn’t sure he could gain control over Benny even if he wanted to and god he didn’t want to. Jeans and boxers thrown somewhere to join the other discarded clothes Dean was laid bare for Benny’s eyes. Benny held Dean still with one hand on Dean’s hip, pinning him to the bench as he leaned back to look over Dean’s body with the same intensity he would look over a finished car before the customer picked it up. It made Dean shiver under its intensity, like Benny was seeing every faded mark, he was seeing every freckle that littered Dean’s entire body. The strange tattoo over his heart, the strange words in delicate print following the curve of his ribs, and every scar from cuts, burns or gunshots. Every new mark only made questions bubble up Benny’s throat.

That was for another time Benny decided as he wrapped his other hand around Dean’s achingly hard cock and slowly stroked him. The feeling made Dean throw his head back to let out a low moan, he hadn’t been with anyone since Cas, at first being heart broken, then being too busy with work and since he left he just hadn’t wanted to. Of course that didn’t mean he didn’t take care of himself of course he did but having someone else touching him just wasn’t the same. Benny worked Dean over slowly, never increasing his pace. It didn’t take long for Dean to start leaking precum, hips twitching to thrust up and increase the pace but Benny still had his hips pinned with one hand. Dean looked at Benny and Benny removed his hand from Dean’s hip only to bring it to Dean’s lips, fingers pressing against his mouth.

“Suck,” Benny said, which was all Dean needed before the fingers were in Dean’s mouth. Dean coating them with as much saliva as he could before they were ripped out of his mouth. Benny pulled Dean down the bench so his ass was hanging off the edge and Dean was flat on his back, the hand that was around his cock gone and now holding his hip as a slick finger circled Dean’s entrance.

When the first finger entered him Dean groaned in pain at first, but it wasn’t long before the pain had bleed into pleasure and more fingers were being added, stretching him out. The pace of the fingers thrusting in and out of Dean was far too slow, keeping him just on the edge but not enough to send him over. It had Dean squirming around on the bench, only kept in place by Benny’s hands. Needy moans falling from Dean’s lips only interrupted with a curse here and there.

“God damn it just fuck me,” Dean groaned. Benny huffed a laugh.

“Impatient are we?” Benny said but then his fingers were gone and Dean’s hole twitched with emptiness. Dean looked up at Benny to see him pull a condom out of his pocket.

“Planned this or just keep those on you?” Dean asked with a smirk.

Benny half shrugged, “Never know when you’ll need one,” was all he said as he pulled himself free of his pants. Benny was bigger than Dean expected, not that he expected the man to be small but he did all the sudden feel worried if maybe he had rushed Benny too much. Benny rolled the condom onto himself and gave his cock a few slow strokes, relishing in the feeling. Then he spread Dean’s legs more than they already were so he could stand between his legs easily, Dean lifted his legs to wrap them loosely under the man’s ribs, feeling the tip of Benny’s cock against his hole.

Benny pressed in slowly, with just the head inside Dean moaned already feeling too full and that was just the start. Dean didn’t rush him and Benny inched inside of him slowly until he bottomed out. Dean shivered with the feeling of being so full of someone, someone he truly did care about. He liked Benny a lot, had wanted him since he showed up at the shop asking for a job. If only Dean knew the minute Benny laid eyes on him Benny knew this boy would be the death of him, all charm and beautiful green eyes but with a sadness in the eyes that made Benny want to hold him close and hide him from the world.

Benny pulled out almost all the way before pushing back in. Dean moaned loud and long, putting his hands flat against the wall above his head to keep himself from being pushed into it. One hand on Dean’s hip and the other on the wall above Dean’s head Benny set a cruel pace, slow but strong thrusts. Hitting against Dean’s prostate with a deadly accuracy before long Dean was a whining mess, desperate to cum.

Benny leaned down to kiss Dean, a mess of tongues and harsh breaths being shared and moans from both men being swallowed by the other. That’s when Benny finally picked up speed and Dean’s eyes widened, curses falling from his lips when he was able to say anything besides just moaning like some porn star. Benny’s name started falling from Dean’s lips without him even meaning to but every time he did say it he could feel Benny’s hand tighten on his hip.

“So close,” Benny said and then Benny’s hand was no longer on the wall but around Dean’s cock, jerking him in time with Benny’s thrust and that was the final straw. Dean was cumming before he could even warn Benny, and with Dean tightening around Benny it wasn’t long before he followed him. Hips stuttering in their relentless pace before stilling fully seated inside Dean. The two panting against one another's lips, then a slow smile crossed both of their faces. Benny kissed Dean’s lips gently. Soft and cherishing unlike their earlier ones. Benny pulled out and pulled off the condom, tying it at the end and tossing it in the nearby trash can. 

“Maybe we should call it a night,” Benny said, even though it was not a question Dean found himself nodding. “Gotta say, I’m not really ready to let you go,” the way Benny said it, felt like he thought this was a dream and that Dean would disappear, never to be seen again.

“I’m not really ready to leave either,” Dean said.

“Come home with me,” Benny asked as Dean sat up slowly on the bench, still standing in between Deans legs.

“My car?” Dean asked.

“We can pull it into the garage before I lock up,” Benny said.

“And tomorrow?” Dean asked even though he knew the answer.

“You can ride with me,” Benny said before claiming Dean’s lips again for a short kiss. Dean found himself nodding again looking at Benny with so much trust. Trust he hadn’t been able to put in anyone not even Cas, in a long time.

“Okay,” Dean said in a whisper. Dean dressed as Benny parked baby inside and locked up. Together the two got into Benny’s old beat up truck that Dean always teased him about. For a man who owned an auto shop the truck was trashed, scratches and dents covered the thing. Rust and chipped paint, the fabric seats were worn and torn in some spots. The truck screamed Benny though, rough around the edges in every way and a little dirty, with a little love however it was great.

Benny’s house was small, just big enough for a man who lived alone, a one bedroom house and only one floor. The two sat in Benny’s living room, a beer for them both watching bad drama shows that Dean use to watch alone, Sam thought they were dumb and Cas never got the jokes or the point. Dean found himself laughing along with Benny at comments the man would make about the show. Benny had his arm snug around Dean’s shoulders and Dean was so tired he leaned into Benny’s side. Appreciating the man's larger frame yet again for its ability to swallow Dean. That’s how Dean fell asleep. Listening to bad drama late night TV and Benny’s absurd comments on what was happening in the show. Benny didn’t know when Dean fell asleep, but when he finally noticed he couldn’t bring himself to wake him. So trying his best not to move Benny turned off the TV and just sat in silence watching Dean as he fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all who have read and left comments! I love reading your comments. Yes Sam and Castiel are both assholes who did something shitty to Dean but that's the point I wanted something bad enough that would drive Dean away. Of course they still care for Dean and they are family so they don't stay away forever

It had been weeks since Dean had left and honestly Sam was about to tear his hair out. He had left dozens of messages on Dean’s phones hoping against all odds he had at least one with him and was just choosing not to answer yet. Cas on the other hand had called every contact he had and even a few he knew only because of Dean to even catch a rumor about the man. Weeks, hell it had been three months and still nothing. Sam called Bobby daily to see if Dean had contacted him. Either Bobby was lying to them or Dean hadn’t called once, if the latter it couldn’t be helping Bobby with his own worries.  
After a week of Dean being gone Sam had gone over to Bobby’s for help with Cas in tow, that then meant he had to tell Bobby what happened. That Dean had seen Cas and him together. Neither had expected Bobby to get so mad about it. Sure they hadn’t told anyone but they didn’t expect Bobby to get so mad. That’s when they learned Bobby and Dean talked more than they thought. That Dean sometimes would still come over unable to see Cas, still heart broken and still very in love with him but unable to look at the man and see everything he thought he had messed up. That hurt more than Cas thought it would.

Castiel couldn’t believe that a year later, Dean still loved him. Cas knew they didn’t break up because either stopped caring about the other, just Cas’s feelings for Sam had grown stronger than his ones for Dean. With all the fighting between the two it had made sense to end things, but to know Dean still loved him and worse that he thought he was the reason they had broken up. True Cas never told Dean he cheated but he also never thought Dean would have blamed himself so much. Sam just felt worse about sleeping with his brother’s boyfriend and then once they broke up lying to him for a year about why the two had become so close. 

Crowely was no help, him and Dean were strangely close. Cas would have bet the two would have gotten together not long after Dean was single again but they never did. Seeming to fit best as partners in crime. Crowely had been away on a job and when Bobby called asking if he had seen Dean, getting the full detail well let’s just say Cas and Sam were on Crowely’s shit list. He was happy for the love birds obviously, congratulating them on their relationship but criticizing them for causing Dean to disappear. As the days went by and they heard nothing from anyone, not even Garth about Dean the two just got more worried. 

The more they worried the worse the fights got between the two of them. They didn’t fight that much. They fought about telling Dean and about the kinds of risks the other took during a job but never like this. Things had been broken and tears shed. It was tearing them both apart.

It was nearly six months later after Dean left that they got a call from Crowley. All of Dean’s social media were still inactive, which was no surprise the man didn’t post much to begin with but once he left the pages died off. It wasn’t his page that Crowley got a hit on. Dean’s face had shown up on someone else’s Instagram. Now Dean never posted pictures of himself, and never let Sam or Cas post about him either. So when they got sent a link to a college student named Kevin they were beyond surprised. The picture was of a college dorm room, Dean was sitting on the bed reading a packet of pages, the kid who they assumed was Kevin was taking the picture over his shoulder. Dean wasn’t even looking at the camera. Kevin’s face was only half in the frame. The caption read ‘get yourself someone who’s not in school to help you study for finals he’s the BEST’. With three heart emojis. 

That night neither of them slept finding out as much information as they could about this Kevin, where he was. What college he attended. Anything to help them find Dean.

The day after Benny and Dean had slept together they were both late for work, showing up together late was telling enough to everyone. Showing up late together and just Dean’s neck covered in hickies was a dead give away. Ash teased Dean relentlessly and Kevin backed him up but Dean wasn’t truly bothered by it. He knew they meant it all in good fun and were just happy to see two people who they thought deserved someone to love them both find someone. The only one who tried to tease Benny was Chuck and when he questioned what in the world could have made them so late Benny instead told him every last detail of their night only so Chuck could hear. To say Chuck couldn’t look Dean in the eye for a week was being nice. 

After a month of being together, officially a couple, Benny found out Dean had been living at a motel and insisted Dean just move in. Dean was at Benny’s house every night anyway and had no reason to keep paying for a room he was never using anymore. They took Benny’s truck to work everyday and Dean’s impala was nicely parked in Benny’s garage at his place now. Things were going well and with the height of summer hitting business was booming. It was a rather hot day and everyone was sweating like crazy, the air conditioner had given up.

They were all on break for lunch and Dean without thinking much of it had decided his shirt was too hot to wear anymore that day and promptly removed it.

“Hey Dean what’s the number’s on your ribs mean?” Kevin asked, catching everyone’s attention.

“I’ve been meaning to ask that myself,” Benny said. Dean glanced at them for a second.

“Their dates is all,” Dean said with a shrug.

“What do they mean,” Kevin asked, it was hard to get Dean to give real answers but lately he was seeming to be more willing to share.

“Well the top one is for my mom, the day she passed and under her is the date of my dad’s passing,” Dean pointed to each one as he talked about them, “the last one is my little brother’s birthday.”

“You’ve got a little brother?” Chuck said, amused by the idea of Dean, all rough and tough having a little brother he loved so much he got a tattoo to represent him.

“Sure as hell do, kids smart as hell too,” Dean said with so much pride in his voice. It felt good to talk about his brother again.  
“Sounds like another Kev or Ash,” Chuck said, making everyone laugh a little except for Kevin.

“I ever get to meet him?” Benny asked Dean. There was a pause which brought down the carefree mood. Benny’s eyebrows pinched together in worry right when Dean shook his head.

“We don’t talk anymore,” Dean said in a quieter voice than before. The rest of lunch was filled with more mindless talk but Benny stayed close to Dean the whole time. The man seemed lost in his own head and Benny was worried about what happened between the brothers.

Dean didn’t talk much about Sam after that with everyone but every so often, late at night alone with Benny he would. Benny could say for certain that Dean loved his baby brother, and was proud of the boy for attending college. Blamed himself for Sam dropping out and that whatever happened between the boys hurt Dean. Dean never said it but Benny had a feeling the problem the two had was the reason Dean showed up at his shop that day. For the life of him Benny couldn’t help but be thankful for whatever it was. If they hadn’t fought then Benny would have never met Dean and for that reason only, Benny was grateful to Sam.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost to the end! I think I'm going to end this story soon to move on to new ideas. Please enjoy this and let me know what you think next chapter should be up by next week myabe. Hey I'm in college consistency is not my thing

Castiel couldn’t get on the road fast enough, Sam was barely able to convince his boyfriend to wait until they had both wrapped up work. They had tracked down this Kevin and with more frequent posts about Dean popping up on the boy’s timeline Cas was seeing red. He had no right to be jealous like he was, but Cas couldn’t help it. There was something in the man that felt like Dean was still his. Maybe it was the years the two had spent together and knowing everything about one another. Seeing Dean in such a strange setting, smiling with pure joy in a way that he had never seen, it was making Cas wonder if he knew the man at all.

Sam can’t help but think maybe Cas was never over Dean, that their relationship had been a mistake. Sam hoped it was just worry over where Dean had been and once they knew his brother was fine the laser focus Cas had on Dean would lessen back to what it used to be. Sam loved Castiel with everything he had and couldn’t imagine life without him, but he knew deep down he would never have the connection with Cas that Dean did. The two had literally saved one another's life, more than once.

Sam drove most of the way in the beginning but with Cas so twitchy in the passenger seat, Sam just let him take over. Cas took advantage of this to ignore speed limits just shy of getting a ticket for it. It took a few days but Sam and Cas finally made it to Louisiana in record time late at night. They took the night to get a motel room, single bed, and got cleaned up before they went to interrogate the boy.

Cas pulled up to the auto shop and looked at it with disgust, it was dirty and the building seemed to be falling apart. Loud rock music blaring from somewhere in the back of the shop, mixed with ear piercing sounds of machines and people talking over the noise. As they approached they saw the boy whose Instagram account they had been stalking.

Kevin looked up to see two men approaching the shop, feeling like this had happened before. The taller man had brown hair that's shoulder length with brown eyes, dressed in jeans, a t-shirt with a flannel button up shirt left open over it. The shorter man was dressed similarly but had black hair and bright blue eyes that took Kevin’s breath away. He approached the men with a smile.

“Need something guys?” Kevin asked, whipping his hands absently on a grease rag.

“We’re looking for someone, think you can help us Kevin?” Cas asked, voice deep with anger glaring the boy down. The use of his name made Kevin twitchy.

“Let me get the boss, maybe he can help,” Kevin said and attempted to make him get away, looking over his shoulder he made eye contact with Ash. Ash, seeing Kevin’s distress, got up off his bench to get Benny and Dean just in case.

“That’s not necessary we just had a few questions,” Sam said right as he noticed the music being cut from inside and looked up over Kevin’s shoulder to see two men approaching them now. One was someone Sam had never seen just he didn’t focus on him long because right there was his brother. Tanner than he was last they saw him, sweaty and covered in grease.

“Sammy?” Dean’s voice came out confused and the sound of recognition caught Kevin’s and Benny’s attention.

“You know them?” Kevin asked, backing up to be closer to Dean and Benny.

“Dean..” Cas sounded out of breath and relieved all at once.

“What are you doing here?” Dean said now full of anger. He nodded at Kevin letting the boy know he could go as he got closer to his brother and ex, still keeping a healthy distance. Benny right next to him the entire time.

“Looking for you dumbass!” Sam yelled full of anger, even if Dean didn’t want it they had everyone’s attention. “You disappear! Don’t call us, Bobby hell we found you because Crowley caught your face on that kid’s Instagram!” Sam threw a hand towards Kevin. Dean made note to have a talk with him later.  
“Ever think I didn’t want to see you! I left for a goddamn reason!” Dean yelled back, losing his temper for the first time in months. These two always seemed to get under his skin easy.

“You don’t even call to tell us your fucking alive! What the hell did we do?!” Sam got right in Dean’s face inches apart and Benny twitched ready to get between the two.

“How about you fucked by boyfriend and lied to me about your relationship for a fucking year! Sorry if I needed some damn space,” Dean yelled back, shoving Sam back. Benny knew Dean was strong but his brother was several inches taller than Dean and looked thicker built but Dean shoved him around like he would a twelve year old. Letting out a huff of anger Dean seemed to be trying to regain his composure. 

“If your problem is with that Dean you should be only angry at none of it was Sam’s idea,” Castiel cut in.

“You shut your mouth right now before I shoot you.” was all Dean said, an audible click of Castiel’s jaw shutting could be heard.

“You wouldn’t shoot him, Dean come on that’s a bit dramatic,” Sam reasoned.

“Dramatic? Dramatic was moving halfway across the country to get away from you two, dramatic was cutting all contact with my friends and people I cared about. Asking feathers to shut the hell up because he’s done enough is not dramatic, it's justified.” Dean said glaring Cas down.

“I’m sorry Dean,” Castiel said looking Dean straight in the eye, Benny took note of the look of longing that crossed Dean’s face briefly, and the hurt. This must be the ex boyfriend then Benny thought in anger now wanting to deck the man himself. Cas moved to stand directly in front of Dean and a silent message was sent from Castiel to Sam with just a look. Sam threw his hands up in anger but walked away giving them space. Like he wasn’t the one in a relationship with Cas, like Dean and Cas were fighting again like always about anything.

“Sorry? About what Cas, cheating on me? Not telling me that you cheated on me? Sleeping with my brother? How about dating my brother for a year and not telling me while we all fucking lived together? What are you sorry for because from here you're not sorry for shit,” Dean said, voice quivering at the end with held back emotions. This close Cas could see Dean’s eyes becoming glossy.

Silence encased the two, while no words were said the two looked to be having an entire conversation. Dean was the first to break eye contact after minutes had passed and he sighed heavily rubbing at his face.

“Come back with us,” Cas said in a gentle voice.

Dean shook his head and gave Cas a smile, “I like it here,” a nod of understanding from Cas was given. Cas’s face pinch.

Cas reached forward to touch Dean but that’s when Benny decided to put his arm around Dean’s waste pulling the man against his side. Dean melted into Benny and Benny could feel the tension leave the man’s body. The gesture caused Cas to give the man a deadly glare, but after having dealt with Dean’s angry face it felt more like an angry puppy to Benny. He also was getting a glare from the baby brother to top it off who had chosen now to reenter the battlefield.

“Who are you?” Castiel asked accusingly. 

“Owner of this business, and his boyfriend short stack,” Benny answered, looking down at Cas, eye level with Sam.

Sam huffed in amusement and annoyance, “Ever gonna tell us you picked up someone Dean?” Sam asked in accusation. 

“We haven’t talked in months and I didn’t have any intention of talking to you anytime soon so no Sam. It’s not the same thing as lying about it, we weren’t talking,” Dean said.

“No you weren’t talking to us, meanwhile we were looking for you thinking you were dead and here you were playing house with this guy,” Sam said.

“This guy is Benny,” Dean said, glaring down his brother. “And if you’ve got a problem with him then we have a problem, so do we have a problem Sammy?” 

Sam swallowed thickly and took a deep breath, “No we don’t”

“Yes we do,” Cas said, jealousy flaring inside of him of seeing Dean so close to someone new. The man didn’t even know Dean, how dare he.

“Well I don’t really care what you say,” Benny said to Cas, hostile just as much to the shorter man as he was towards Benny. Anger at the way the man seemed to have treated Dean and still was treating him, like Dean belonged to him. “As far as I’m concerned you're the unneeded third wheel in this brother drama.” 

The words only seemed to rile Cas up more, “Dean, can we speak in private about this,” a glance past both Dean and Benny reminded them of the audience that was trying not to be caught listening. 

Dean inclined his head, “later, I have to get back to work.”

“Dinner?” Cas asked in a tone that was more out of politeness than an actual question.

“Where?” Dean asked, sighing knowing that there was no point arguing because they wouldn’t leave any faster if he said no.

“Dinner two blocks that way, seemed like a place you would like,” Cas said, smiling that damn smile that always made Dean weak.

Sam and Cas left after that heading back to their motel while Dean went back to work, promising Benny they would talk later but for now leave it alone. Benny was all kinds of torn up, wanting to know what all happened between the three men and the confusing web that seemed to be their lives.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this will be the second to last chapter and the final one is already written! hope everyone enjoyed this and are as happy with the ending as I am. if you like my work keep an eye on my page there will be new stuff up after a while. please leave me lots of comments!

It wasn’t even five minutes after Dean and Benny had gotten home and the front door shut behind them before Benny was asking questions, “You wanna let me in on what the hell just happened darling?” Benny asked slightly angry.

Dean sighed, and leaned against the back of the couch, looking at the floor but body facing Benny, “Well that was my little brother Sam and my ex Castiel.”

“Gathered as much how about more details, like why the hell they showed up at my business throwing a bitch fit?” Benny raised his voice in frustration but was trying his best not to yell at Dean.

Dean shrugged at a moment lost for words which were so new and heart breaking it gave Benny a pause. Benny crowded into Dean’s space and loosely wrapped his arms around the man’s waist, leaving room for Dean to push him away and break from the hold. Instead Dean melted into the touch.

Something Benny learned quickly is that Dean seemed touch starved at the beginning of their relationship but rejected most contact, saying it was too girly. Maybe it hurt Dean to be vulnerable and lean on someone like this for such normal things. Maybe it was Castiel that caused this or something else. Benny didn’t think he would be getting those answers tonight however, he was determined to get some answers before Dean went off to see the bastards.

“When I showed up here Benny, you know I was trying to hide from some shit. I just didn’t tell you I was hiding from them,” Dean finally said in a too broken voice. It hurt Benny to hear that hurt.

“What happened?” Benny whispered into Dean’s ear, now resting his chin on Dean’s shoulder and pulling gently to bring Dean closer. So Dean started to retell everything to Benny, starting with what his job had been before meeting Castiel. He told Benny about meeting Cas and falling all over himself for the man. About the start of their relationship, about the fights and constant worry over one another. About the night he left and while yes he had gone to a bar and kissed someone that’s all it had been, a kiss. The night Dean had gotten home and told Cas about the kiss and the heart ache Dean felt when Cas said they needed to break up. The hopes and tears for over a year thinking maybe Dean could earn back Cas’s trust.

Dean told Benny about the night he had caught Cas and Sam coming home wrapped in one another. If when that part of the story was told Benny held Dean a little tighter, Dean wasn’t going to point it out. He told Benny about the conversation he overheard the next morning. Dean had explained his whole life he was always more of doing something and thinking about what he was doing later. So logic had dictated he grab his shit as fast as he could and get out before they noticed he was awake. 

Benny didn’t interrupt Dean once and only held the man close as he told him everything. Benny didn’t know why after months Dean never contacted anyone, those jack asses aside it seemed there were still people who loved Dean. Friends and other family that had been worried sick over his disappearance.

“Why not call Bobby? Or that Crowley guy?” Benny asked.

“I didn’t want them to think I needed someone to talk sense into me to come home.” Dean said and while it had hurt Dean to not talk to any of them, he had made a little family at the shop. Ash was his overly smart friend who drank too much, Kevin was just like a new little brother with less angst. Chuck was a less refined version of Crowley who just drank more.  
“I’m coming with you tonight,” Benny said.

“No your fucking not. I need to do this on my own Benny,” Dean kissed Benny’s lips lightly, “I’ll be home before midnight.”

Benny’s face pinched unhappy about it but knew fighting Dean on it would do nothing. So he just nodded his head once, “promise me something?”

“What?” Dean looked up at Benny, hating the older man for being just tall enough above him that Dean had to look up at him when this close.

“That you will let me meet the rest of your little rag tag family.”

“Rag tag family?” Dean laughed a little.

“Blood or not, everyone you talked about darling, Bobby and Crowley they are your family. Just like the boys at the shop are our family. A real Frankenstein life.” Benny finished with one of those teasing smiles, only one side of his mouth lifting just enough to show his teeth.

“I like the way that sounds, never thought of it like that before.’

The two men sat together until it was about time for Dean to head out and face the two people who had hurt him so bad. Benny was reluctant to let him go, smothering him with kisses every few seconds but Dean left anyway.

So now Dean sat at the counter bar of a dinner he frequented the first few weeks he had lived here before things got serious with Benny. After Dean had basically spent every night with Benny the man had gotten into the habit of making them dinner and breakfast everyday. Dean didn’t eat out as much anymore and he didn’t care either that his burger intake had drastically decreased. Dean was surprised however to find Cas alone when Dean had shown up.

“Where’s Sam at?”

“I asked him to let us talk alone, as the problems lie between us,” Cas had answered simply and when the waitress came to get their orders Cas ordered Dean’s meal, knowing exactly what he wanted without asking. It hurt to know that even after so much time the two still knew each other like the backs of their hands. When did that love turn into bitterness and fights? Maybe Dean will never know.

They ate in silence for the most part, Cas telling Dean about the recent jobs he and Sam had been taking. He talked about the large increase in work now with only the two of them to take the workload. Dean had a feeling neither did realize just how many jobs he took. Dean never liked to fly so when he got a job that took him more than an eight hour drive away Dean would request more than one job as long as he could hit them all on the same drive. It meant he was gone longer than either Cas or Sam at a single time. A job that would take a week max would keep him away for a month and a half, and it would be more like seven jobs along the way than just one. Cas had agreed with Dean that he had extremely mistook Dean’s workload for being lighter.

Castiel had always thought Dean spent too much time driving from place to place and that time could have been of better use. If Dean would just fly once in a while he could have done more. Cas felt so stupid about it now that he knew just how much more Dean had been doing. Dean talked about the shop some. Keeping the focus off Benny he told Cas about his co-workers instead. After the meals were finished and casual conversation was when serious talk was started.

“Why didn’t you guys tell me?” Dean asked.

“Sam wanted to, I thought it would have hurt worse.”

“What hurt was knowing that you guys didn’t trust to tell me, I thought I was the reason the relationship fell apart.”

“I think there is plenty of blame to go around between us for our past relationship. I should have been more honest after Sam and I…..once you had gotten back I should have told you,” Cas said, looking at Dean with those bright blue eyes. Cas’s eyes were always such an intense shade of light blue, it felt as if they burned through Dean anytime he was fixed with all of Castiel’s attention. It used to make Dean weak and like goo when Cas looked at Dean like that but now, all Dean could think of was how pale Benny’s blue eyes were, faded and light and a softness that never left them. Benny’s eyes were something Dean could never look away from and never got tired of looking at, while Cas’s had always left him weak and desperate to look away.

“Yea you should have, but nothing can be changed now.”

“Are you sure? That nothing can be changed.” Castiel asked, his voice dropping an octave and becoming quieter forcing Dean closer to listen to the now deeper voice, Castiel’s hand drifted to Dean’s upper thigh. Dean’s eyes moved down to the hand that was too close to his crotch and was squeezing gently at his inner thigh.

“What about Sam?”

“Dean, I made a mistake. Let me correct it” Castiel then leaned in to kiss Dean. Before his lips reached Dean’s, Dean leaned back and put more distance between the two. When he noticed this didn’t stop Castiel’s intention Dean stood from his seat and took a step away, anger clean in his stance and his face.

“What the fuck! You fucking cheat on me, lie to me for fuck however long and now while your dating my LITTLE BROTHER. NOW! Now your trying to make a fucking move on me? What the hell do you care about Sam at all?” Dean was beyond angry at what had just nearly happened, not only for what Cas had tried to do, knowing Dean wasn’t single anymore but that he was also going to cheat on Sam. Sure Dean was pissed as all hell at Sam, but he also knew Sam would never intentionally hurt him and as much as Dean wanted to punch Sam he would never hurt him like this.

“Dean please just listen. I can’t apologize enough for what I did but I would like to make it right.”

“This won’t make anything right Cas, we’ve been over a long time and I’m happy now.”

“Don’t tell Sam please?”

Dean couldn’t help the huff of air that pushed out of him, “ As mad as I am at Sam, he is going to know about this by sunrise. How he finds out is up to you Cas.” with having said his peace Dean went home. When he got back to Benny’s house Benny was asleep on the couch, lights off and TV still on. Instead of waking him Dean just sat on the couch next to Benny and leaned into him, watching whatever had come on after Benny dosed off for the night. Not paying much attention to it but focused on his thoughts instead.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes I know this last chapter is short, and that it may not be what everyone wants. First of note is to stay true to the character Dean will not forever hate Sam, based off their relationship in the show while they do have issues and get mad at each other even in this story Dean loves his brother above all and while hurt will never just remove Sam from his life. Also previous chapters might be edited later down the road and a prequel or sequel might one day be made I make no promises on any of this. So please enjoy and leave me a comment thanks!

Sam had to in the end find out from Dean what had happened at the dinner. They both expected Sam to be more hurt by it than he was. The brothers for a first time in a long time sat down and had a long talk, after Sam was given the black eye he was due. Sam explained what he could remember from the night he and Castiel had gotten together. Cas had come to Sam for advice, the two had a few to many drinks. A kiss had turned into more and Sam the next morning regretted what had happened the way it did. He confessed to Dean having had a crush on Cas from the day Dean brought him home but never wanted to be what broke them up. When Cas had broken things off Sam and Casitel took things slow at first trying to remain casual friends.

Sam now doubted Cas ever felt the same thing for Sam that Sam had felt for him. Sam also doubted Cas would love anyone as much as he had Dean. The couple had fought mostly over Dean the entire time they were together even before. It seemed Cas couldn’t bring himself to close the door to a life with Dean and even though Castiel wanted to get back with Dean there was no fixing them. The two were too protective of each other and too jealous and with what Cas had done he knew there was no going back. Once Dean had left Sam explained how the fights had gotten worse and they grew colder to each other, hating what the other had done to the person they both loved.

Dean didn’t completely forgive Sam, but he couldn’t hate his baby brother for long. Sam met Benny and the two didn’t get along. They never came to blows however only because Dean couldn’t take the two people he cared about hurting each other. Dean stayed at the shop liking the work more than what he had been doing before and Sam couldn’t stand traveling so much just to see his brother. So Sam sold their old house a few months later. Castiel had moved out by then, taking a local job as priests when the church was in need of a new one after the last got too old to continue the work. So Castiel was out of their lives and changing his.

Sam after selling the house and all the furniture in the house packed up the rest of his and Dean’s things and moved into Benny’ spare bedroom. He wasn’t as good as Dean with a car but he worked out well at the shop.

Sam still was careful around Dean, having not forgiven himself for what had happened between the two of them. Dean was taking a break from banging out a few dents in the truck he was working on, looking over the shop at everyone busy at work. Benny was in his office with Ash going over a few numbers, Chuck was on the phone with a customer and Sam was helping Kevin with an engine. Poor Kevin was still lacking information about a lot of things when it came to the job at hand but everyone was willing to teach the kid. It verified if any stuck.

“Hey,” A voice from the open bay door yelled, catching Dean’s attention. Dean turned around to see a man who looked about Benny’s age, tall, tan with sandy blond hair and dark green eyes. The man looked worn out and desperate.

Dean walked closer to talk to him, “Hey need something?”

“Looking for a job actually, was wondering if that help wanted sign wasn’t left up by accident,” the man inclined his head towards the sign that yes they had left up by accident, but Dean didn’t have to tell him that.

“Got any experience?” Dean asked looking up at the man, he had to be just barely taller than Sammy.


End file.
